Sometimes it’s hard to find the confidence to stand up in front of a group of people and put yourself out there.
To go for the big audition. Pour your heart out into a song. Try a new dance move.
We might be afraid people will judge us. That we will be rejected. Fail.
I know that self-doubt very well; and if you’re reading this, you probably do too. It’s common and a natural feeling. So today I’m going to share some simple tips with you that I find help me build the confidence to go for the big things, take chances and doubt myself just a little less.
Disclaimer: All of the opinions presented in this post are not professional advice and are meant for inspirational and entertainment purposes only.
Quiet the critic
We all have that self-critic inside of us, but we don’t always have to listen to it. It’s easy to believe that all of the negative, limiting beliefs we have about ourselves are true. But in reality, I think we’re usually way more capable than we think we are. What I find helps, is to approach any situation where I doubt myself with the curiosity of: let’s see if I can. Rather than just assuming: I can’t. And then I go for it. Because chances are, I just might surprise myself.
In the end, somebody has to get whatever it is you’re putting yourself out there for – so why can’t it be you?
Focus on Learning
I think confidence can sometimes be wavered by our need to always be the best version of ourselves, rather than focusing on the fact that we’re all here to learn. We’re all here to grow, and it’s so much better when we take risks and actually aim to fail and get feedback. In fact, the act of making mistakes actually instantly makes us smarter and better – even though it may not feel like it. Because now we’ve learned what not to do, and we know what to improve on.
If you’re someone who struggles with being a perfectionist, here’s some tips that might help you out!
Practice Makes Progress
I find that the more I put myself into situations of practicing confidence, the easier it becomes. It might start by recording your song or audition and showing it to your mom. Then your dad. Then maybe your sister, your grandpa, your “close friends” list on Instagram…then the whole world! I think it’s important to start practicing the act of putting yourself out there and taking risks. It’s usually never as bad as it seems.
There’s no “Spotlight”
If your confidence is struggling because you messed up a dance move, hit a wrong note, forgot a line, or you’re afraid you might, I have some good news for you:
You’re not the first person and definitely not the last person to mess up.
We often think people care and will remember more of our mistakes on stage than they really will. There’s actually something called the “spotlight effect”, where we all walk around life feeling like there’s a giant spotlight on us all the time. That people are constantly thinking about what we’re doing. But it’s not true – we’re all too worried about ourselves to worry about you! Most people forgive and forget our mistakes a lot easier than we do ourselves. I find it helps to get comfortable with the possibility of making a mistake, and realizing that if we do, it isn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last. It’s simply a part of being human.
Focus on your why
When we put ourselves out there, it can be hard to remember the reason you’re there in the first place. I find it helps my lack of confidence to get excited about what I’m doing rather than to be afraid that I’m not good enough for it. To remember why I’m here, not how it could go wrong. You wouldn’t believe the amount of achievements people get by simply showing their interest and their dedication. People aren’t looking for perfection, they’re looking for authentic passion. If you have those things, there’s no reason to be unconfident. You’ve got everything it takes!
Know your worth
We all want to be accepted, it’s a natural part of being human. But a performance, audition or mistake is not going to define you or your worth. If you are a human being, you have value that cannot be taken away, regardless of your achievements or abilities. It can be easy to feel like we don’t belong somewhere or that we won’t get anywhere because we’re not “good enough”, but we have just as much of a right to be successful as anybody else. Everyone on planet earth is equal, and that includes you!
Confidence doesn’t come easy for everyone. But the biggest thing that helps me is to realize that we’ve been given one chance at this crazy thing called life, so let’s make the most of it, go for what we want and not waste our time worrying about what other people are thinking. Because the truth is: we don’t know what they’re thinking. We may never really know and we’re never going to please everyone.
And that’s okay – you’re amazing enough by simply being yourself.